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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26673613">to know that i lost you along the way</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/meathermac/pseuds/meathermac'>meathermac</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Not Another D&amp;D Podcast (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Character Study, Idiots in Love, Introspection, M/M, shitheads to lovers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:07:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,013</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26673613</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/meathermac/pseuds/meathermac</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>it's the night before mavrus leaves for college, and tred isn't sure how to feel.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mavrus/Tred Nevers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>to know that i lost you along the way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i literally wrote this in about an hour and a half amid encouragement from sam blazeofglory because the hbs finale made me SAD. how dare these assholes make me cry over their finale</p><p>anyways shoutout to sam, you are my favorite friend and such a lovely and encouraging person to send my fics to. i love you so much &lt;3</p><p>(title is from sidewalk chalk by annalise emerick)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“What’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get to school?” Tred asks, reaching for his beer as he stares out at the pitch-dark ocean, waves rolling against the shore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mavrus shrugs, running his fingers along the knotted wooden deck. “I don’t know. Sleep, maybe. It’ll be weird.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you’ll miss us?” he says, quieter this time. “Will you still remember us when you’re all cool and smart and good at magic?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughs, throwing an arm around Tred and pulling him in close. “I couldn’t possibly forget you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you would,” Tred mumbles, nuzzling against Mavrus’ neck. “When you get to school and you make all kinds of new friends. I’m sure some of the elves up in Gladeholm know way more about sex than I do; I’m sure you’ll find someone pretty who’s just as good at getting you off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sound jealous and I haven’t even left yet,” he laughs, pressing a kiss to the top of Tred’s head, “Besides, I thought we were just like, hooking up for the summer, dude.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighs and rests his head on Mavrus’ shoulder. “Yeah, I mean, we are, but like, I still don’t want you to not have any reason to come visit me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d come to visit you for more than sex,” he says, but Tred knows it’s a lie, ‘cause Mavrus hardly talks to Tred on his own if he doesn’t want to fuck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is it so stupid that Tred wants more? They’re friends, they’re best friends, and the fact that they’re even hooking up is more than Tred could have ever hoped for, but Mavrus isn’t the type to be sentimental. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a sort of validation he knows he shouldn’t want as much as he does, but Mavrus makes him feel like he’s the only boy in the whole damn world and it’s not real, they’re just fucking, but gods, Mavrus’ smile just tears him up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s not sure Mavrus cares about him nearly as much as Tred cares about Mavrus, but they’re boys ‘til the end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Problem is that the end is tomorrow morning when Mavrus and Carl leave for college. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tred doesn’t know if he’s in love--he doesn’t think he is--but he has a notebook full of songs about Mavrus, his hair, his smile, the way he moans Tred’s name at night, and he thinks that maybe it’s not worth it to even feel like this about Mavrus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mavrus doesn’t like Tred like that, he likes the way Tred touches him and the way he licks into his mouth after a night of partying, but he doesn’t like Tred. He likes the feeling of waking up next to someone and it doesn’t matter to him who he wakes up with; Tred wants to know that the person who’s sleeping in his bed cares about him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, alright.” Tred leans up to kiss Mavrus, running a hand through his best friend’s soft curls. “I’ll come visit you, then. You can show me around your big, fancy school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s gonna be so weird without you, dude.” Mavrus closes his eyes, resting his forehead against Tred’s. “It’s gonna be so fucking weird.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m really gonna miss you,” he says, and he can feel tears start to sting at the corner of his eyes. “Ugh, I feel like I’m gonna start crying. This is so stupid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sit there in silence for a moment, waves lapping against the shore, and Tred is working on keeping himself from bursting into tears when Mavrus says softly, “It’s okay if you cry, dude. I’m gonna miss you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that, Tred does start crying, burying his face in his hands. “It’s just--I just--I don’t even know, man, I’m just gonna miss you; I know it’s stupid.. I’m being </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> emotional right now, bro, I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mavrus awkwardly holds him close as Tred sobs into his shoulder, the crushing reality of the fact that they’re not going to see each other every single day, and he feels like it’s the day they graduated high school all over again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can’t lose Mavrus in the way that no one ever wants to lose a friend, those friends who you slowly fall out of touch with and see in your contacts and think, </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I hope they’re doing well</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and you get that hollowed-out feeling in the pit of your stomach because you feel like you’ve messed up somehow, losing someone who you can still remember loving. Tred can’t help feeling like he’s already losing Mavrus like that; that his best friend is slipping through his fingers even though they’re laying on the deck of the beach house together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine if you’re emotional,” Mavrus says, running his fingers through Tred’s hair. “Just like--I am gonna miss you, bro. And not because you’re really good at sucking my dick, but like, ‘cause you’re my boy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sniffles, rubbing his eyes. “Yeah, okay. I’m just like--it’s just weird. I feel like I already miss you and you’re still right here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mavrus tilts Tred’s chin up and kisses him softly. “Yeah. I’m still here, dude.” He plays with the hem of Tred’s shirt, licking into his mouth, and he can’t help but giggle a little bit as they kiss. Mavrus really only knows one way to cheer anybody up, and it’s by kissing them--not that he’s complaining. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He runs his hand up Mavrus’ thigh, and he makes a soft noise into Tred’s mouth. It hits him suddenly that they’re outside the beach house and that they cannot go any farther because they’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>technically</span>
  </em>
  <span> in public. He pulls away and Mavrus makes a noise of protest, nipping at Tred’s lower lip as they separate. “We can’t right now, Mav,” he says, wiping the tears off on the back of his hand. “I can’t--I can’t tonight. I don’t want that to be the last thing we do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mavrus nods, leaning into Tred. “Let’s just sit here, then. We can just wait together until tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And they do.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lichen, commerce, and scribble, or leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed!!</p><p>hit me up on tumblr [@maple-keenes] or twitter [@maplekeenes] if you wanna talk!!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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